February82011

Communication

Communications is defined as the imparting or interchange of thoughts, opinions, or information by speech, writing, or signs. When there is no longer any imparting or interchanging between two individuals then there is no longer any communication. When both parties have completely shut down and shut the other out then they are no longer communicating and the relationship suffers. 

Too many times we try to force communication to happen when either one person or both parties involved do not want to talk about anything with the other. They then feel forced into talking and both become resentful of each other. It becomes a losing situation for everyone involved. We fail to realize that communication isn’t something that can be forced; it has to be on a voluntary basis. It has to happen because you actually want to talk and open up to the other person.

So when communication has been shut down, when no one wants to talk… What do you do?? Do you continue to wait around in hopes that, one day, the floodgates will open back up and you can start interchanging and imparting again or do you call it quits? Or what if, when communication does occur, you aren’t prepared at all for what you are going to hear? What if the floodgate is opened and it is negative and not the positive you were hoping for??

8AM
What do you do when you wake up, roll over, look at the person next to you and in that very instant you realize that you don’t really know them at all?? You know more than the basics about the person but do you honestly know what makes them tick?? Do you know what they are thinking sometimes even without them telling you? Can you tell by the way their head is tilted or by their very simplistic twitches or jerks what kind of mood they are in? Are you able to finish a thought or sentence for them? What if you realize that you dont know them at all and that things that you do know about them you are starting to not like??? Do you look at the person that you are in love with and treat them like a stranger just so you can try and get to know them all over again? Do you wait it out to see if maybe you are just over thinking the situation and try to press on??  When it comes to love and relationships I want to know beyond your favorite color, favorite food, or favorite song. I want to know your dreams, your goals, your aspirations, your favorite memory, your worst memory, your weaknesses, & your strengths. I want to know you better than I know myself. I want to learn you so that I can always know how to deal with you. No matter the situation I want to know how to be there for you at all times. I never want to come to a point in my relationship where I look at and realize I don’t know you. I want to be at a place where I learn something new about you everyday. When you change, when you grow, when you mature I want to know so our relationship will never suffer.  Many times we don’t take the time to get to know someone to their true depths. We write them off by making a check list of the good and bad. We don’t bother to learn their true potential. We also don’t bother to let them realize our true potential because we are just as afraid of opening up and being judge by them as they are by us. So how can you honestly get to know someone really well and then realize you don’t really know them??? This means that you never really knew them in the beginning and that either you never took the time to truly know them or they never trusted you enough to become completely open and vulnerable with you.

What do you do when you wake up, roll over, look at the person next to you and in that very instant you realize that you don’t really know them at all?? You know more than the basics about the person but do you honestly know what makes them tick?? Do you know what they are thinking sometimes even without them telling you? Can you tell by the way their head is tilted or by their very simplistic twitches or jerks what kind of mood they are in? Are you able to finish a thought or sentence for them?

What if you realize that you dont know them at all and that things that you do know about them you are starting to not like??? Do you look at the person that you are in love with and treat them like a stranger just so you can try and get to know them all over again? Do you wait it out to see if maybe you are just over thinking the situation and try to press on?? 

When it comes to love and relationships I want to know beyond your favorite color, favorite food, or favorite song. I want to know your dreams, your goals, your aspirations, your favorite memory, your worst memory, your weaknesses, & your strengths. I want to know you better than I know myself. I want to learn you so that I can always know how to deal with you. No matter the situation I want to know how to be there for you at all times. I never want to come to a point in my relationship where I look at and realize I don’t know you. I want to be at a place where I learn something new about you everyday. When you change, when you grow, when you mature I want to know so our relationship will never suffer. 

Many times we don’t take the time to get to know someone to their true depths. We write them off by making a check list of the good and bad. We don’t bother to learn their true potential. We also don’t bother to let them realize our true potential because we are just as afraid of opening up and being judge by them as they are by us.

So how can you honestly get to know someone really well and then realize you don’t really know them??? This means that you never really knew them in the beginning and that either you never took the time to truly know them or they never trusted you enough to become completely open and vulnerable with you.

February22011

So many times in relationships we push & push for our significant other to let us in and tell us everything that is on their mind. We dont even realize that we could possibly be part of the problem by not allowing that person to work things out in their own mind before coming to us about it. Maybe they truly dont want to talk about it or maybe they just need a minute to get their thoughts together so that when they do decide to speak it will make sense to us. 

Being in a relationship and knowing when to continually push your way into their thoughts or knowing when to just fall back and allow them space is probably one of the trickiest parts of being with someone. We tend to feel like we are being pushed away or that the other person is not letting us in and in some instances that might also be the case. Yet, we have to learn our partner so that we can know how to deal accordingly. Its not always going to be easy and its going to require a lot of patience but the end result will hopefully be a more secure, more open relationship.

People like myself tend to shut down when to many things around me are going on and I dont know how to deal. I usually pull back into my own thoughts and ultimately pull away from my partner. Im learning as I get older and as I take my relationships to new depths that this is not only unfair to the people around me but also unfair to myself because Im not allowing someone to be truly there for me. In a way I feel like I am sheltering those closest to me from my problems by trying to deal with them on my own but really Im showing them that I dont trust them enough to help me when I truly need them most.  I never want someone to make me feel that way and im continually working towards opening up more and allowing myself to trust more.
February12011
I wonder how many Diamonds we actually pass over in our life looking at a pretty stone. Something that seems so perfect and immaculate on the outside but the deeper you look into its depths you realize that you have been fooled and that all along you were holding just a pretty rock.  Diamonds are perfectly imperfect and so are the people that we hold dearest in our lives. We all make mistakes (big & small). Yet, we learn from those mistakes and continually transform ourselves into better beings. Diamonds are equally affected by the elements of nature yet they never cease to be Diamonds or lose their beauty. Sometimes they might need a good shine to give them that sparkle back but unlike stones they are, in a sense, forever. Stones are eaten away bit by bit by nature until ultimately they no longer exist and all that is left in their place is sand, which is swiftly blown away by the next breeze. Maybe we should take the time and evaluate the people in our lives and decide whether they are stones or if we have indeed been truly blessed and found a DIAMOND!! Whether that person is going to be with you through every storm or if they will get beaten down by the elements and eventually blow away. Im a grateful for the many Diamonds that I have found in my life and for the people who view me as a Diamond in theirs. I appreciate the storms we have weathered together and the times where you have noticed that I was losing my sparkle and took the time out to help me recover my shine. You are all AMAZING!! 

I wonder how many Diamonds we actually pass over in our life looking at a pretty stone. Something that seems so perfect and immaculate on the outside but the deeper you look into its depths you realize that you have been fooled and that all along you were holding just a pretty rock. 

Diamonds are perfectly imperfect and so are the people that we hold dearest in our lives. We all make mistakes (big & small). Yet, we learn from those mistakes and continually transform ourselves into better beings. Diamonds are equally affected by the elements of nature yet they never cease to be Diamonds or lose their beauty. Sometimes they might need a good shine to give them that sparkle back but unlike stones they are, in a sense, forever. Stones are eaten away bit by bit by nature until ultimately they no longer exist and all that is left in their place is sand, which is swiftly blown away by the next breeze.

Maybe we should take the time and evaluate the people in our lives and decide whether they are stones or if we have indeed been truly blessed and found a DIAMOND!! Whether that person is going to be with you through every storm or if they will get beaten down by the elements and eventually blow away.

Im a grateful for the many Diamonds that I have found in my life and for the people who view me as a Diamond in theirs. I appreciate the storms we have weathered together and the times where you have noticed that I was losing my sparkle and took the time out to help me recover my shine. You are all AMAZING!! 
January92011
“

One day at a time- this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering.

THIS IS MY LIFE QUOTE & 2011 WILL BE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL YEAR OF MY LIFE!!!

”
1AM

My first blog!!

WOW!! I never thought I would see the day where I would create a blog but after some pushing from a friend (Cesmar) I decided that maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea. It is a new year and I am allowing myself to open up more and do things, feel feelings, and react differently to situations that I would have never thought possible for myself.

2010 was a HUGE and significant year for me. I lost some friends who weren’t really there for me and made room for some of the most AMAZING people that I have ever had the privilege of getting to know. Dealt with drama, partied hard, loved hard, made some bad decisions & dealt with the consequences, made some good decisions & reaped the rewards. All in all it wasn’t the worst year of my life but it definitely was the most introspective. 

2011 will be MY YEAR!! I will accomplish all that I set my mind too and I will not let anyone throw me off course (including myself). I have learned that I am my own worst enemy and realizing that significant error in my life has been a huge triumph!! I will continue to love hard, party hard, study hard, and live hard!!

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